Boundaries are not walls

Boundaries are the distance at which you can love someone else and yourself simultaneously. Standing up for yourself is a boundary and an act of self-love.

Imagine Paulina, a young woman who always put others' needs before her own. She would bend over backward to accommodate her friends and partners, often at the expense of her own well-being. Sarah's lack of boundaries left her feeling drained and unfulfilled, as she neglected her own needs in favor of pleasing others.

This scenario highlights a crucial aspect of relationships – the way we allow others to treat us sets the tone for how they perceive our worth and value. If we consistently let someone treat us as a convenience, they may come to believe that we don't require much effort or consideration. However, when we make it clear that we want to be treated as a choice, we assert our self-worth, and others understand our expectations.

Setting boundaries is not about being selfish or demanding; it's about honoring our own needs and ensuring that our relationships are based on mutual respect and consideration. It's about recognizing that we deserve to be treated with kindness, compassion, and appreciation, and not settling for anything less.

But what happens when our boundaries are crossed? When someone consistently treats us as a convenience rather than a choice, it's essential to evaluate the dynamics of the relationship. Perhaps the other person lacks the capacity or willingness to prioritize our needs due to their own circumstances. However, it's equally important to acknowledge that we have the power to choose whether to continue investing our energy in such relationships.

This is where the power of our own choice lies. We have the ability to decide if the energy exchange in a relationship is worth our investment. If someone consistently treats us as a convenience, we can evaluate whether their presence in our lives brings us joy, fulfillment, and positive growth.

If we discover that we are treating someone like a choice, but it isn't reciprocated, it's crucial to communicate how that makes us feel. Open and honest communication is key to building healthy relationships, and expressing our needs and concerns can lead to greater understanding and mutual respect.

However, if our boundaries continue to be disregarded and our needs remain unmet, it may be necessary to make decisions that prioritize our own agency and worth. This could involve distancing ourselves from toxic relationships, seeking support from friends or professionals, and focusing on self-care and personal growth.

Reflecting on our own experiences, have we ever allowed someone to treat us like a convenience instead of a choice? What boundaries did we let be crossed? By acknowledging these experiences and learning from them, we can cultivate greater self-awareness and resilience in our relationships.

In conclusion, setting boundaries is an essential aspect of nurturing self-worth and fostering healthy relationships. It's about recognizing our own value and communicating our needs and expectations clearly and assertively. By honoring our boundaries, we empower ourselves to create relationships that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and love.